HOME SWEET HOME .......OR NOT!!!

Home Sweet home
those words hardly effected me

Reading them on frames, doormats,etc.
They were irrelevant to me

Until one day that home sweet home was taken away
When living paycheck by paycheck, no longer paid

For the rent

It only sent me , my mom and new born son away

No where to call home

Only expensive hotels and friends extra space to roam

You think the closest ones to you would help
Though no one heard our crying yelp

Grandpa told me I'm not apart of the family anymore
Picked his bitty old wife over me

Uncle too caught up in being the boss of his wife and kids
Did he forget I had a kid?
At the time I was still a kid...a 17 year old kid

Who baby's daddy was on...well he was havin a good time since he was on vacation from being daddy

Me having to run church to church
Thrift store to homes
Just to get baby clothes

I cried Late everynite
Trying to hold it in since me my mom and son were all in the same bed squeezing the covers tight

I thought okay this would last for a couple months
Then a year became those months
Then two years became those months

But those years became less sweeter
My mom chose to allow me and my son to live elsewhere in a stable spot
While she moved room room somewhere new to rot

I had good times where I stayed
But I could never forget I was on the verge of being homeless
I was living with friends I never would have expected to live with
I love them all more than ever but we werent always that close
They became my family
Thank you

There were days, my senior year of college
Where I would cry because everytime I wanted company over I had to tell them my situation
They thought nothing big of it but it hurt me inside to remember this is not my permanent home
That at any sudden movement, I could be told get out and not have anywhere to turn to

Went through a phase where seeing boys were my only happiness
Even though half the shit they said was game, It didnt make me think of my stresses
it helped me release my pain out of lust
Grateful it was only a phase

Then I met my current boyfriend
Who didn't care who I lived with
But did start to feel the stresses I felt
But he stuck with me
Those nights I cried because if I said too much I would be out on the curb
So I had to hold it in for my son's sake
Hold my pride
Put it aside

I prayed everynight for a better life

Then once I started making more at my job

I set a goal

And I achieved it

Income tax saved my life

Sent me back to home sweet home

When I couldve made my tax check a downpayment on a car
A shoppin spree for me and the girls
A bunch of shyt i really didnt need

I used it to get a place

A home sweet home
to reunite with me and my mom

for two years we didnt feel like a family

We were split

Sadly to say we had no religious home either until close to our second year of pain

After joing a church I looked forward to Sunday

ready to see my mom

March 2008

After no one wanted to cosign for us a place

We took a risk of our own

Applied for apartments which spoke Home to me

4 days later i called to check the status

"You were approved Ms. Caldwell for a two bed, two bath room apartment"

i will never forget those words

I cried of joy

My son did flips for happiness

My mom had tears of disbelief

"We did it" I told her

I paid the first few months rent
Bought furniture
Food
The Uhaul rental
Renters Insurance

I told her "Mom dont worry I got this"

She cried and held me tight

We are finally home sweet home

I never knew It could be this sweet

residence for about 7 months now feels good

Never lose focus of your home sweet home